Despair

I'm having such a hard time with the fact that I am going back to work full-time on Monday. I just feel it isn't right. It does not feel right, it does not taste right, it does not smell right. It's hard on my daughter. She cried this morning at school when I left her because I won't be able to take her or pick her up anymore. I won't see her everyday anymore and all this for the price of $1600 take home a month? To me, it's so not worth it, but I have to do it for my husband.

I know life isn't fair, believe me, I KNOW, but I want to be the first one each day that hears about my baby's day. I want to be room mother, I want to be the one that is able to stay home with her when she is sick. I need to see her everyday. I can't possibly go 5 days with out her. I'll lose myself.