Holidays and Naivety

I do not consider myself naive, except when it comes to the Holidays. Up until the last few years, the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas was my favorite part of the year. Sadly, "The most wonderful time of the year" tends to get more stressful with each year. It is hard having Ainsley's birthday right before or after Thanksgiving, but we always seem to make it work.

This year we got Ainsley a swing set. My mom, Austin's parents and Austin and I all put money together to get Ainsley the absolute coolest playground ever! Sadly, I think this swing set caused way too much stress for all of us. Everyone had to let Ainsley know that they paid for a part of it or that so and so worked an hour on it. It was quite unnerving, really. Ainsley could care less who paid for it or who put it together. All she cares about is that it is in her backyard!! It reminded me of the days when my grandmother would leave the price tags on everything and include the receipt (with the price on it) with all the gifts.

Fast forward a couple of days to her party. My mom and her other grandmother got her a DS. My mom was mad. My mom buys her a swimming puppy, which her great-grandmother also happened to buy her. My dad gets her roller skates, my mother-in-law gets her roller skates. Somehow, I end up taking the hit on all of these, as if I am the Ultimate Gift Controller.

It makes me sad that we get so tied up in "stuff." And, honestly, I am upset at some of our family for taking away some of my enjoy in celebrating the birth of my only child. It is hurtful when the women are so catty about petty things.

Sometimes, with Austin's family, I feel like I am will never be good enough or will never live up to their expectations. My family has enough of it's own problems... All of our families' problems boil down to narcissism, and I really feel if we were living according to God's word, we would end the narcissism and put each other first.

So, as of December 1st, I am going to enjoy the Holidays. I am going to love my Christmas tree (even though some consider it an idol), I am going to play Santa... I am going to experience Christmas again and ignore all the family hoopla.