There's a Fungus Among Us

So, it is officially confirmed that I have a systemic yeast infection. It is basically a progression of autoimmune disease and supposedly after this is killed off, I will be on the other side of this mountain.

Here are the catches: I have to be on a special diet (will get to that in a moment) and an anti-fungal powder (nasty) for 3 months to 3 years. What a range, huh?

The diet?

The worst part is: NO DIET COKE!! ARGH! (Please pray I don't kill someone while weaning off of Diet Coke).

Here is the list of the No's: No sugar or artificial sweetners. No preservatives (MSG, citric acid). No canned foods, condiments, salad dressings or canned vegetables.

No frozen or canned juices. No wine, beer or any alcohol. (Can I drink ANYTHING?)

No wheat, rye, barley, breads, muffins, rolls or baked goods with those ingredients.

No MILK products. (milk, cheese (Lord, help us), yogurt, ice cream, sour cream). Turns out that I am allergic to milk. WooHoo

Nothing with vinegar in it: mustard, mayo, pickles, soy sauce, bbq sauce.

No mushrooms.

No salt unless it is sea salt.

No caffeine: No coffee, tea, chocolate (another prayer, please).

The only meat I can eat is meat that is 100% organic.

The good news is, losing that 20 pounds I talked about in my previous post, should not be a problem!! :-)

I went to Market Street, just to find stuff I can eat (Rice cakes, almond butter, Rice Milk). -- Almond butter is $10, by the way. So, I will be yeast free and broke, but I'll be skinny!!

Philippians 1:19

"I know that through your prayers and the help given by the Spirit of Jesus Christ, what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance."

I wanted a "verse of the day" today, and this came up. Oh, how my God is speaking to me.

I was going to post about my illness, how that, for the past month, it is sucking the life out of me and I am growing weary and frustrated.

Sitting here at work thinking, "WHY????" Why was I so dizzy last night that I couldn't lift my head, which made me miss fellowship with my life group? Why do I have no energy and need (not want) to sleep 15 hours a day?

I won't lie, I am frustrated. I am pissed off that it's been three years and I'm still wrestling with this on an everyday basis. I am tired of this.

I am depressed.

But, I guess somehow, "what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance."

Rants, Raves and Other Stuff

1. This morning, I stopped at Market Street to get a Diet Coke. There was a man in a suit hunched over, eating a banana. I thought for a second "I know God created me, but I'm pretty sure you are a product of evolution." - Wrong, I know!

2. I'm counting down the days until we are free from Ainsley's Kindergarten teacher.

3. Apparently, it is not called "Play Day" anymore. My 6 year old has repeatedly corrected me. It is "Buddy Field Day." I'm old.

4. My daughter BETTER sing at her recital on Sunday. I have a sneaking suspicion that she is going to chicken out.

5. Seriously, I am going to lose 20 pounds this summer.

6. I have a systemic yeast infection and it really skeeves me out to think of these things growing on my organs.

7. In reference to number 4, I want to be able to wear a sleeveless shirt without people going "EWWWWWWWWWW"

8. I am the most hated person in the region right now at work. No other managers understand why I am the last lady standing and I wasn't laid off. They are all trying to make me feel guilty. In fact, the Midland manager came into town yesterday and said "My girl has been with the company 15 years and I don't understand why you are staying. You've been here 10 months." My response: "Thank you! That is just what I needed to hear. I only have 10 years experience AND a college degree, I don't know why they picked me."

9. I have a meeting next week with LCU to discuss going back to school to get my teaching certificate in Special Education. God told me that I am supposed to work with Autistic/OCD kids. So, number 7 really doesn't matter anyway. :)

10. I am so glad that God brought us the Archer family. We love hanging out with them. Nothing is funnier than Grayson coming in the living room in his tighty whities and asking where his Spiderman suit is. Makes me want to have a boy!

11. I am getting my hair done today. I was printing out pictures and a girl at work said I look just like Lisa Loeb. (--Maybe 20 pounds ago).

Forgiveness is a Gift?

Throughout my life, I can say that I forgave out of obedience. I never got anything from it, and thought of it as a selfless act for God.

Today, that all changed.

Two years, a close friend of mine tore my heart out. We had built a business together and I was about to become a partner in the business. She was going through some stuff and I was just learning how sick I was. Three days into radiation, she called me and said she wanted to part ways. I had never felt such devastation in my life. I had officially lost it all.

I had not talked to her since then.

God had been putting her in my heart lately, but I brushed it off.

Today came the opportunity to see her again for the first time, and when we hugged, I realized how much I have missed her. It wasn't a fake hug or fake words, it was all from the heart and it was amazing. We laughed together and joked like we used to.

I had finally forgiven.

What a gift to let go and TRULY forgive and forget. Not holding any feelings hostage, just letting them all go.

I cannot wait to see her again!

Thank you, Lord, for teaching me about true forgiveness and for bringing her back into my life.